Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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