he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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