lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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