i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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