if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
