You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
