Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
