this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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