I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
