weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
