Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
