just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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