i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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