You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
