go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
