She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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