fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
