Betty ford says i'm here all night
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
