i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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