I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize
