HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Drake has all the answers
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
