Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
