I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
