Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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