I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize