so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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