From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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