I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
