even my farts smell like vagina
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
