I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize