I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
