ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
