just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
