i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
