You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
