I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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