Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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