No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
