Acid is not a monday night drug
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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