Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
