ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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