did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
