why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
my being single is dangerous.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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