Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
