it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
