Yo dont text me then not text me
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
