I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
