Taylor Swift is so right about you.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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