She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
