Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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