I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Randomize
