Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
