Porn is love you can see.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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