dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
