You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
