My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
