Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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