Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
