we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
how do you play pong handcuffed?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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