Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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