Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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