he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
