I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
